When I was in a teenager, I picture my life to be glamorous--living in a penthouse in NYC and go to party every night til I hit 35. I can't say that I have a boring life because it is actually quite interesting (I go places every few months, how boring can my life get?) But sometimes I am envious of my single friends who are making tough choices and deciding who to marry. Gosh! sometimes I am secretly envious of my mother-in-law who still goes to singles dance. I am nuts!!
I probably shouldn't confess here since Mr.L will definitely read this. But I am not complaining about my life or him. I enjoy being me and I love being married to a gorgeous and awesome husband. I just resent the fact that I am getting older and not having any energy left to make new friends and be a social butterfly like my sister (jeez louis, she talks on the phone like constantly with friends from across the world, and she has more friends here in Provo than I do!). It's probably an excuse and I should probably kick myself and count my blessings. I just don't want to be an old fart and live vicariously through others :( I know I don't have to. I need a good cold shower from heaven to wake me up and remind me of how blessed I am.
Anyways, I went to my first class of the semester today and I will be starting my student teaching next week! I am so nervous about it. Why do I get so antsy about things?? I need to, like Dale Carnegie said, stop worrying and start living. I really should start reading that self-help book. I am reading Eat, Pray, Love these few days and I think I need to do some kind of soul-searching like Elizabeth did, only I am turning to my Heavenly Father and not just some great power in the universe.
Dear friends, I'll be back to let you know how my soul-searching goes. I promise you that I will not live vicariously through others and I won't be envious of my sister or my mother-in-law anymore.