Monday, October 01, 2012

Being a mom

I was looking at some photos of me while I was pregnant. I miss my baby bump. It's cool to see how Liam grew from the size of a sesame seed to the size of a pumpkin and how my waist size went from 26 inches to 40 inches. Yea, I did get some stretch marks, especially on my hips and upper thighs, and I wished I hadn't, but I'd like to think of them as a trophy of pregnancy. Hey, it is a great accomplishment to have a baby that size!

My sister took a lot of pictures and videos of Liam's birth. I won't show you the videos cause it's totally R-rated (violent and immodest!!). But I've made a slideshow of the pictures she's taken. Despite it being the hardest thing I've done in my life, it was also the most memorable and greatest gesture I showed to my son, giving him the miracle of life.

Motherhood: some things i've learned as a new mom
* i hate pumping. Not only is it time consuming, it is also loud and inconvenient. My one big regret is not getting a hands-free bra for the pumps. I had to hold the pumps on my breasts every time I pump. If I let go, they would just fall off as if there's no suction. So I basically have to just sit there and do nothing the whole time I am pumping, making me want to cut the pumping time short. Lame! 
* breastfeeding is difficult, painful, and is still intimidating for me. I have basically given up on breastfeeding. It's too frustrating for both me and the baby. 
* God should bless mothers with 10 hands so they can multitask. When I am pumping or holding my baby, I'd also like to do other things like scratch my nose when it's itchy, get a kleenex to wipe the milk dripping down my belly, reach for the TV remote control, or check emails on my phone. My mouth has literally become my third arm. You should see me grab my phone with my mouth. Lucky for me I have an iphone 4S and it is thin and rather light. 
* newborns don't play. The only interaction you have with your baby for the first couple of weeks is pacifying him and figuring out why he's crying. 
* God is testing my patience when he blesses me with a baby. This comes as a rude awakening because I am not a very patient person and 
* A.A Milne says it best, “Some people care too much. I think it's called love.” It's a mother's nature to care for and worry about her children because she loves them so. In a recent conversation with my mom, she said that a mom never stops worrying about her kids until the day she dies. Whoa! What am i getting myself into?
* baby blues are real. The first night I stayed up crying, I cried about my body. I was in pain and I looked bloated because of the water retention from my pregnancy. I felt like a broken electronic device. I thought that I'd never feel whole again. The second night I cried holding my baby. I cried because he was crying and I didn't know how to comfort him. I cried because I thought breastfeeding was easy despite what all other moms told me. The bloody breastfeeding made me feel like I wasn't a woman and a good mother enough. I thought if I didn't get the hang of it then I'd never be able to bond with my son and would put him at risk of all the diseases out there. Crazy hormones! 
* sleep deprived is an understatement. Staying up all night is not that difficult. I've done that before. But being woken up in the middle of a deep sleep and a sweet dream is 10 times harder and makes me 50 times crankier. But everytime I hold my baby in my arms, patting him on his back, rocking him back to sleep, I feel so grateful I get to lose sleep over my Liam boy.

I just love cuddling with him

I can't kiss his cute little footsie enough!!

1 comment:

Nikki Yoder said...

Thanks for sharing the video! And yes, giving birth is most definitely R-rated haha!! Thanks for not posting it. ;)

Also, thanks for sharing your thoughts on being a first-time mom! I always thought it would be peaches and cream as well. I can't believe how incredibly hard it is getting used to that babe...and the baby blues. Oh. My. Heck. I thought I was going to be miserable the rest of my life.

I'm glad I'm not the only one who cried my eyes out for a few days after coming home and was constantly tired. But you do look at that precious babe and just feel so grateful, even if they suck your sleep away and are the source of all of your tears.

Hang in there cute mama! You are doing an amazing job.