Ee Wen's Tales

Being pregnant: Week 9

2012-02-12T08:34:00.002-10:00

Week 9 of pregnancy. The baby is about an inch long now, the size of a grape. Aww...how cute. This week I celebrated the last day of Chinese New Year (the fifteenth day of the new year, which is also Chinese Valentine's Day) and Mr.L and I went out and had steamboat (or Chinese hotpot dinner) at a restaurant here in Provo.

Cravings...Everything from home. All kinds of rice noodles cooked in soups. The craving can only be satisfied by looking at photos of food from home while eating whatever I eat here. This week we eat out almost every day. I seriously do not feel like cooking anything. There's nothing I wanted to eat that I can cook. Italian food sounds really yucky now. I just want rice and rice noodles.

Breakfast is especially difficult for me. Before I was pregnant I usually skip breakfast and have brunch instead. I usually don't have an appetite in the morning anyways and I hate to eat cereal or yogurt or anything cold and sweet for the first meal. I need something salty. Now that I am pregnant, I force myself to wake up earlier than normal everyday so I'll have time to sit down and eat before going to teach. I also force myself to eat cereal since cooking noodles would take too much time. Every time I eat cereal with soy milk I feel like throwing up. Every single bite is a torture. I would also gag after every other bite. I don't think it's morning sickness because I did this before I was pregnant too. Sometimes I'll be sitting there eating cereal and tears would roll down my eyes (I am pretty sure this is the pregnancy hormone). Why do I have to eat cow food? Why can't I have some normal food like everybody at home has. Every morning I long for home.

I don't know how much longer I can stand eating cereal. I wish I know how to make those delicious breakfast food from Malaysia. I never had to worry about making it since it is easily accessible and cheap there. Now I have to figure out a way to make it.

I cannot wait to go home! So basically week 9 is about wanting to go home so I can have some decent breakfast.

Until next time.

My husband is a wonderful man

2012-02-01T19:21:00.001-10:00

Yes, he is! He is the anchor of my life. I always have a shoulder to cry on, strong hands that hold me to make me feel protected from all the bad things in the world, and a smile that ensures me I am the luckiest girl in the world.

Mr.L has done countless wonderful things for me and his family. He is so generous and giving that I feel like I'm Mr.Scrooge next to him. He is so selfless and he is willing to do everything for the people he loves. That is why I feel loved every day. Seriously, I cannot think of a day in the past 3 years that I don't feel loved by him. He makes it so clear through his actions, there's just no way I would second guess him.

Sometimes when getting off the couch was the last thing I wanted to do, I would ask him to bring me whatever I want (water, my blanket, the remote control, food) and he would always, always get off his side of the couch and go fetch me those things. And he never ever complained.

He is so hard working he gets up way early in the morning, sometimes before the sun comes up, and usually before I get up, to work or do his homework. He doesn't rest til dinner and after dinner he returns to his work while I watch my tv. He works so hard every day and I look like a bum by comparison.

Recently, he willingly learned how to cook from me. He usually doesn't care about what he eats and had never really cooked before. In fact, he is quite clueless when it comes to culinary. Now that I am pregnant and don't feel like cooking most of the time, he had helped me cooked a couple of meals. I was so pleased because it was my dream to cook with my husband. He made my favorite chinese chicken and mushroom soup from scratch and twice-baked potatoes.

I am impressed by his kindness and I grow to love him more and more every day. I am the luckiest woman alive! Happy Valentine's Day, sweetheart!

His favorite thing. He talks to this bear all the time it is funny to watch.

A successful and delicious meal. Satisfied stomach, happy wife, successful husband.

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

I'm a pregger.

2012-01-30T10:53:00.000-10:00

Well, the stick showed it, and the ob/gyn confirmed it. So I guess I am officially pregnant now! The baby is in its week 7 and is the size of a blueberry. This week the baby is developing arms and legs. It's mind-boggling a 'thing' the size of a blueberry has hands and feet!

Wow, it sounds so surreal! When I took the pregnancy test, I was expecting it to show 'not pregnant' because I was so certain my period was just irregularly late. I was thinking that maybe because of my 'irregular period' I would have to go see a doctor to make sure that I can still get pregnant. So, when I saw the stick and it showed 'pregnant', I was speechless.

I am not exactly shocked by the result though. Mr.L and I were planning to get pregnant this year anyways. But to be pregnant on the first month of the new year after only two months of trying, I was really not expecting to be expecting so soon! Like I said, surreal! I can't feel a baby moving inside and my belly is still flat!

In the beginning, I had a lot of questions. Now, I have even more. I used to think that I know so much about being pregnant, going the labor, being a parent. I have many older cousins and friends who told me about what they went through so I thought I know enough about what needs to be known about pregnancy and life after pregnancy. This past week I realized I know jack!

I am still learning through friends and Internet about what to expect. Some advice I got are kinda weird but most are wonderful. A friend of mine, being a very superstitious Chinese, are always giving me all this crazy advise about not drinking cold water, no cold food, and no showering with tap water. It's mind-boggling that there are still people clinging on to the crazy traditions and follow them to a tee.

I love hearing birth stories. Especially the excruciating painful part. It scares me but I am intrigued at the same time. It's like watching the Kardashians show: even though it's painful to watch, I just can't take my eyes off. I am intrigued by water birth and I am leaning towards having my baby that way.

We had some important decisions to decide this week as well. At first we were faced with the insurance issues because I am graduating this June. We thought that the Student health plan that I have now will be terminated and I won't have an insurance. We found out that to extend the health plan, we need to pay $800 a month for it until the baby is born. That's like $2400 plus other copay stuff which will pretty much amount to about more than $5000. Too much money! So we had two options: 1. To extend my graduation til December so that I still get the student health plan for a cheap price ($400 per semester). 2. To go back to Malaysia and have my baby there after I graduate and then come back to the U.S. after my confinement period is over (of you don't know what confinement period is, I will talk more about it next time).

Both choices were no good. First choice: Are you kidding me? I am dying to finish school and the thought of graduating half a year later is killing me. I just can't go through with that. Seriously, I was devastated when Mr.L brought that up. I was like, how dare you ask me to stay back in school when I am so close to being done? I was so sad and furious (I swear it's the hormone). Second choice: while going back to Malaysia and give birth there for only $16 (yeap, this is not a typo) is fantastic, I know that I will be so sad if Mr.L misses his chance to witness the birth of his firstborn (well, maybe it's better if he doesn't witness the horrify look and the screaming and gnashing of teeth).

Only the first week and I was already stressed-out! We prayed about it and our prayer was answered. We called the health center and was told that even if I graduate in June, my insurance won't terminate immediately. In fact, I will be covered til the end of August. I love BYU! But we'll have to extend the insurance policy til October, so we'll have to pay the $800/month after August. This is a great news! We can totally afford that. That means I don't need to extend my graduation and I don't have to fly home with my big belly, suffer the jetlag, fly with a newborn back to the US by myself, and Mr.L won't have to miss his child's birth. Thank you, Lord!!

My morning sickness is not bad at all. I feel nauseated sometimes but the feeling is starting to fade. I am still tired all the time but I feel that I have more energy during the day now. I hope that this is a smooth and easy pregnancy. Hopefully the stress from my last semester of school wouldn't affect me much. I need a stress-free pregnancy.

Well, until next week.

Happy Chinese New Year!

2012-01-23T10:00:00.000-10:00

Yay! The first day of Chinese New Year. This is the year of the dragon, which is probably the most auspicious year for the Chinese, since we Chinese are the descendants of the dragon.

Every year during this time I miss my family terribly. It's supposed to be a time for family gathering and I miss out on that every year ever since I moved to the U.S. Sigh. But next year I am pretty sure we will be home for Chinese New Year. Mr.L will be done with school and we might just fly back to Malaysia and live there for a few months...or years.

I just love all the superstitious stuff my family does for CNY. Every year nobody sweeps the floor during CNY, it is believed that you will sweep the fortune out the door. Then, we light the crazy loud fire crackers at midnight (every household does) and let the wrappings fall on the ground for the rest of the festival. CNY lasts for 15 days and we can visit friends and family for 15 solid days if we want to. The best thing about that is not only do we get to eat, drink, and be merry, we get MONEY for visiting them! Well, that is if we're still single. Once you're married, you lose that privilege to "earn" money. When I was small, I would always get a few hundred, sometimes up to a thousand ringgit. That's like college fund.

My least favorite time of CNY was when I was awaken early in the morning by my aunt's loud speaker. She would be playing CNY songs really really loudly (you can hear it a few doors down). That was her favorite thing to do. She saw it as her mission to irritate us out of bed so we would get out butt downstairs and eat the breakfast my grandma prepared. My grandma always cooked chicken soup with shiitake mushrooms and long life noodles. I love that tradition so much because grandma always put lots of red rice wine in the soup so it smelled super good. My cousins and I would always slurp the long noodles because we were not supposed to cut the noodles short so we could live a long and prosperous life.

My favorite part of CNY is watching the lion dance. The lion symbolized the monster called "Nian", which came to the Chinese village thousands of years ago to terrorize the Chinese people. The people were terrified of it at first but they found out about the weakness of "Nian". It was afraid of red color and loud noises. Therefore, the people painted their houses red and bang on gongs and plates and threw loud firecrackers at it to chase it away. The lion dance pretty much depicts that story but nowadays it is an auspicious thing to invite the lion to your house, and have it kowtow to you and your house. This means that good things will happen to your family.

Oh man, the more I talk about it the more I miss my family and CNY! I wish I could convey the feeling that I have for this special celebration adequately. But words are always not enough. I am so proud of my Chinese heritage.

Here's a video of the lion dance. Fast forwward to minute 1:40

Last post of the year! The review of 2011.

2011-12-31T09:13:00.000-10:00

2011 was a year of fun, learning, and growth. In retrospect, it was a wonderful year for us.

January: My sister came to visit and slept on our couch for about a month! We had so much fun while she was here. She celebrated her 24th birthday here too. My second semester in grad school started and this semester I got to co-teach a class with my mentor. It was the most nerve-racking experience ever!

sis's 24th birthday at a Japanese reataurant

February: Chinese New Year celebration with hubby at a Chinese hotpot restaurant. We call it "steamboat" in Malaysia. I was so happy to have found this restaurant. I loved the food! Also, because it is so expensive, it inspired me to buy my own portable electrical stove to make our own steamboat at home.

March: My 10-week teaching practicum came to an end. That was when I thought I was ready to be a full-on real teacher. Read about it here.

April: We celebrated our 2nd anniversary in Park City. Wow, two years! Mr.L celebrated his 25th! I threw a surprise party for him. The winter semester finally came to an end and I got all A's in my classes. Yay!

Vietnamese pho for our 2nd anniversary

May: We took a red-eye flight, traveled for more than 30 hours to get back to my home land. I was beyond ecstatic. It was the beginning of our three-month vacation. We visited Kuala Lumpur, the capital of Malaysia and an overrated city. We traveled to the historical city of Malacca. This was where Malaysia started. We also took a trip to Phuket, Thailand, where we did so many fun things and got food poisoning there.

Kuala Lumpur: Batu Caves

On a trishaw in the historic city of Malacca

Feeding our dead skin to the little fishies

Holding a gibbon baby at the floating houses in Phuket

June: Apart from spending a lot of quality time with my mom, we visited my cousins and stayed with them for a couple of weeks both in Sibu and Kuching. Then, we flew off to Singapore (another overrated city), and Bali Indonesia. Bali is a very unique place and I just love love love all the temples. A few things I DISLIKE about Bali are the constant pestering from the local hawkers everywhere we went, having to pay the airport security for leaving their country, and lastly, the constant smell of smoke and incense that they light everywhere on the road.

Merlion in Singapore

Having a sunset dinner on the beach in Bali

July: We visited my dad and my friends in Kota Kinabalu (love this place to death!) and went on a scary island hopping spree (imagine white water rafting in the ocean where the water rose as high as a few stories tall). Then we spent our last few days in Asia in Taiwan where I got sunburned.

This is why I love Taiwan.

A cool place called JiuFen in North Taipei

August: Came home to good ol' Utah. Mr.L's two siblings got married to their lovers. We traveled up and down Utah quite a bit this month too. Then, Mr.L's youngest brother entered the Missionary Training Center and we got to take him out to lunch and drop him off at the MTC curb. It was a crazy month!

Chantelle and Tyler's wedding

Tyler and Jordyn's wedding

September: School started and I started on my MA project to make a dictionary. Very uneventful month.

October: I had a meltdown because I hated teaching my class! I also thought that I would not be able to finish my 3 papers ever. When Halloween came around I decided I would go wild.

sugar skull grim reaper

November: More work and school. Then the Lord had mercy on me and gave me a Thanksgiving break that I absolutely needed. We went to Las Vegas and had a great dinner with my cousins at New York New York hotel. A week later, I celebrated my 26th birthday. Mr.L threw me a surprise party and I had absolutely no idea! It was the best birthday ever!

Thanksgiving in Las Vegas

My surprise birthday party. All of my good friends came. So fun!

December: Finals were over! The most horrible semester is finally behind me! We celebrated a great Christmas with Mr.L's mom and siblings. I enjoyed the slow-paced Christmas break when I could just be lazy and wake up whenever I wanted. Today we are celebrating the last day of the great 2011 and counting down to another great year. May 2012 be fabulous to everyone!

Story #358: Thanksgiving 2011

2011-11-26T11:59:00.001-10:00

Happy Thanksgiving! I had a great time in Las Vegas with my cousins and their families. One of my cousins and her daughter flew in from Malaysia and they drove to Las Vegas with my other cousin and her family. It was so great to see them and get caught up on each other's life. This was the first time I celebrated Thanksgiving with my side of the family so it's pretty great. I also went on my first Black Friday sale. After our dinner at New York New York America restaurant, we took a stroll down the strip to look at some casinos and take pictures there. Then, just before midnight we went to the factory outlet mall to begin our 3 hour shopping. I got a pair of leather boots that I have wanted to get for quite some times for half off the original price. Score! Other than that, I seriously don't see the appeal of going shopping when you're sleepy and having to fight your way through the human traffic. I also felt like I was in China or the Philippines since I heard so much Mandarin being spoken and saw so many Filipinos there. In short, I'd rather go shopping when I am fully rested and was not hungry and cranky.

Now I can't wait for Christmas!!

Story #357: LIFE

2011-11-08T17:20:00.000-10:00

My goal to write a new post once a week is obviously not going to be reached. So I will just give you guys a quick update of what's up and what's new in our lives.

1. Life is busy, busy, busy for both Mr.L and me. Apart from going to school full-time (Mon to Thurs), we have a ton of homework to do for all of our classes. Work is also very demanding of our time, especially Mr.L's job (he's working really hard for his clients, on his own business website, and part time for Family Search). I am busy with lesson planning, teaching, grading, and meeting with students. I like my job but I think it is taking way too much attention and time that I'd rather spend on my MA Project.

Speaking of my job, it is getting a lot easier comparing to the beginning of the semester. I am getting to know my students better and built a good rapport in the class. I wish I could put more effort into teaching my students, but I feel like all of us are losing the motivation as the end of semester is drawing closer. There were some bad days when I just felt like quitting and say to my students "to hell with you!" But I never lose my patience with my students, which is kinda weird, cause they are not exactly my favorite people in the world, and MAN! do they complain about the homework I assigned them. Seriously, it's not bad at all. They should try doing my assignment! Anyways, I was counting the days til I am done with teaching for the semester. 14 more school days! I cannot wait!

2. My MA Project is coming along quite smoothly. I have compiled 10 sample dictionary entries ready to be pilot-tested. I am developing a survey to go along with the test. Also, Mr.L is helping me with building the dictionary website (which is the most important part of the test). Hopefully, I can get everything ready this week and send out the surveys to people. After all the compiling and pilot-testing, I will be able to work on the write-up, which I am pretty sure is going to be my biggest nightmare towards the end of the semester. This is seriously my toughest semester ever, hands down.

On top of my MA project, I have two other class projects that I have to do. I used to be able to write 5 major research papers (10-15 pages) for 5 different classes in one semester in my undergrad program, but for some reasons, writing two 15-pages long research papers seem so daunting now. I wonder if age has something to do with it!

3. We're trying to squeeze in a little bit of fun every weekend because, let's face it, life without fun is not worth living. I am happy to say that our weekends have been great so far. We went on drives in the canyon to watch the beautiful Fall leaves, went and did our first session at the Salt Lake temple on a snowy day, and went and watched Disney On Ice.

4. I've been going to bed before 10pm more and more frequently. Can you tell that life has taken its toll on me? I haven't been going to bed before 12am in the past few years (ever since I started college)! But I guess it's a good thing going to bed early. That means I get more sleep, and I'll be more rested, and be less cranky during the day, and be more productive. A blessing in disguise? Most likely.

Thanksgiving is just around the corner. I am excited about it. This year I am thankful for all the work that the Lord has blessed us with. K, this is probably a little bit too depressing but at one point when I felt like I was drowning in all the assignments, I wished for the world to end soon. I am thankful that the Lord did not listen to my stupid, whiny wish. Even though I am always complaining about how busy I am and how much I wish everything could be over, I am actually very thankful for a busy life. At least I am not bored! I feel a sense of accomplishment and confidence everytime I finish a seemingly way-too-difficult-for-Sharon task. I proved to myself that I could find a way to get things done if I had a will.

Story #356: It's him again!

2011-10-08T07:48:00.000-10:00

Today was laundry day again. Remember that little boy we saw last time? If you don't, go here to read about him. Anyways, we saw him again! He was coming from an opposite direction this time. He was wearing a kid's size police uniform. I tried talking to him, but he ignored me. All I can say is his mom taught him well. When we were in the laundry room, I realized I forgot to bring my BYU ID card so I ran back to our apartment to get it. Yeap, I ran, cause it was freezing outside. I almost rolled down the stairs. That's the story for another day. As I was running back to the laundry room, I heard someone blowing a whistle. I knew, by my instinct, that it was that little boy blowing his whistle on me. I didn't turn back to look cause I just wanted to get the laundry done. As I was running, I heard running footsteps behind me and the whistle kept being blown. I was secretly happy that I outran him. When I got into the laundry room, I told Mr.L that the little boy was chasing after me. Sure enough, he ran in, blowing his whistle.

I am starting to like going to the laundry mat now. It seemed that there were always fun little incident like that every time we went.

Story #356: Meltdown

2011-10-02T12:19:00.001-10:00

Yesterday, and the day before, and the day before that, I had a few meltdowns. I don't know what was causing me to be so anger-proned but I was not my best self the past few days. I was tired and stressed-out. I was helping out at my friend's activity (for her MA project) at the ELC. I was there from 4pm til about 9pm (even though I was paid by the ELC, I was only paid for 2 hours of my work). Though I had fun helping out (I was doing some background/body swap editing on PhotoShop), I felt so tired. I talked to my friend after the activity and she told me this was one of the last things she had to do for her project.

I was SCARED when I heard that. My goal is to graduate in June and that means I need to get my project done by February so I can defend in April, and then finish my coursework in June and graduate. I was overcome with a feeling of inadequacy (I think grad school make people feel that way all the time) and fear that I will not be able to my project done in time. Curse my professor for telling me to wait til Fall to start (he wouldn't answer my questions when I emailed him from Malaysia in the summer. He told me that I will know what I need to do when I take his classes in Fall)! Fall is here and I was finally able to get my questions answered (those questions I asked him in the emails were yes/no question. He only needed to tell me yes or no and then I would have been able to carry out my project while vacationing in Asia). WHY would he have waited for months to tell me what I needed to hear? Sometimes I REALLY REALLY want to freaking curse him!!

I think that one of the reasons I was suddenly overwhelmed and stressed-out was that I put all the deadlines of all the research papers (yea, on top of my MA project, I still have 2 other papers to do, and a ton of stuff to grade for my students) and assignments on google calendar and when I saw that there are A LOT of things due in the next couple of months (something is due every week), I panicked. Then I saw how messy my apartment was, I freaked out. A thought crossed my mind: I want to quit school. I am DONE with school!

That was what I wanted in the past few days. But I know deep down that I would regret that. I am so close to graduating and a few more months of hell isn't going to get in my way.

Thank God for general conference week because not only did I hear so many things that were meant for me to hear, I was also able to put things in perspective, picked up the pieces, and get to work again.

Story #355: Saturday rambling

2011-09-24T12:13:00.001-10:00

Went to the laundry room to get our clothes with Mr.L. Saw a little boy about 4-5 years old playing by himself on the playground next to the laundry room. Wondered where his parents were and if it was fun to play on the slide alone. Left the laundry room, proceeded back to our apartment, and saw the boy walking past us rather quickly towards his house. Observed that his eyes were glued on me as he ran past me. Asked Mr.L why the boy stared at me and he replied in a whisper, "cause we're stranger." The boy started picking up his pace and turned his head sideway to see what we were whispering about. It was too comical not to laugh so we laughed out loud. Upon hearing our laughter, the boy turned around and said, "what are you laughing at?". That only provoked us to laugh louder. He took off running towards his house. I felt like a meanie. But kids are funny. Hopefully we get to be called to the nursery again.

My Saturday has been good so far. What about yours?

Story #354: Everything is going to be OK

2011-09-16T08:58:00.000-10:00

Sometimes when I let my mind wander, different images and memories of me making a fool of myself would start popping into my mind. Everytime and embarrassing image float across my mind, I would try to block it out by saying, "AAAAAAAA!!!" or "STOP!" Because I often said it out loud, I usually startled my husband in the other room and he would jump and ask, "What, what?" to which I always replied, "nothing".

I had a particular bad day two weeks ago. I felt like I had made a fool of myself big time, rejected, incompetent, and most of all, a failure. I was suddenly really scared of everything. I was scared to be alone, I was scared to be with people, I was scared to go outside. In essence, I was depressed. My sweet husband and his shoulders to cry on made me feel a whole lot better. One thing he said that I thought was truly a word of wisdom is "At least the worst is over." He was right. The worst was over, I faced my fear and I was surprised that things are turning out a lot better than I had anticipated. He also found me a quote that I absolutely adore: "No day is so bad it can't be fixed with a nap" by Carrie P. Snow. She was right! I took a nap and when I woke up I was ready to take on the challenges laying ahead.

The other day I was talking to a friend, expressing how daunting some things in life seem to me. I also told her about my fear of public speaking, being the center of attention in front of people I don't know well, and showing up on a photo shoot all nervous. Though I have had similar conversation with other people and have received incredible advice and encouragement, what my friend said to me that day was by far the most powerful. She simply said, "Everything will be over in an hour" (she was of course referring to teaching). And just like that it calmed me and somehow that simple little phrase took root in my heart. I noticed that as I remind myself that whatever my fear for something might be, it will soon become the past. Once the storm passes, the sky will clear up and the sun will shine (if it's still daytime).

Everyday everyone is fighting a battle of their own. To those who can't see the rainbow after the storm, just have faith that in a matter of a few hours or days or months the storm will be over.
And take a nap sometimes :)

Mr.L took this when I was taking a nap.

Story #353: Hoorah! More changes!

2011-08-24T17:18:00.006-10:00

Are you bored with all my talks about changes lately? Sorry! But that's what my life is about right now.

While I was tweeting a couple of days ago, I saw a tweet that made me so excited. Jasmine Star, the ultimate wedding photographer, tweeted that one of her video workshops on CreativeLive is now on sale. I emailed the tweet to myself for fear that I would forget about it if I don't send myself a reminder. I finally found time to sit down and watch a free clip of it [the course cost $119 after the discount and I still don't have the money for it :( ]

I learned A LOT from her and about her. I loved that she had a humble beginning in her photography career too! That gives me hope. Maybe I can be as successful as she is one day. I really like Jasmine as a person. I feel like I get to know her so well through her blog. I am an avid reader! I loved the way she told her story. She is funny and so willing to share her knowledge and experience. I love mentors like that (I call her my mentor even though she doesn't even know it).

One of the things that she talked about that I felt like I should definitely start doing is that photographers should blog more about things that are beyond just photography on their photography site. How curious! I always used to think that my photography blog is just a tool for me to showcase only my works, no personal life. I didn't like the idea of sharing my personal life with my potential clients (they'd think that I am too boring!). I am afraid of being judged. I am afraid of putting myself out there for people to see how uncool I am. Well, I guess I don't have to blog about my insecurity. But what about my tangents??? I go off on way too many tangents way too often. People don't like long-winded people. But I know that Jasmine is right (yea, we're totally on the first names basis), I need to start blogging more about my personal life on my photography blog. My clients need to know me as me, not just as some strangers whom they might consider hiring for their weddings.

I guess that instead of writing separate posts, I can just use some of my posts here on this blog on my photography blog too, something not as personal as pouring out my heart and soul I guess.

Therefore, it won't be a surprise if you see two similar posts on this site and my photography site in the future.

Story #352: Mr.K leaves on a mission

2011-08-24T14:06:00.007-10:00

I like to think of life as a series of adventures.

Today my youngest bro-in-law, Mr.L's youngest bro, my mom-in-law's toughest son (he is BUFF! and she was in labor for 27 hours when she gave birth to him) went to the Mission Training Center (MTC) for the LDS church. His new adventure as a missionary starts today. How I envy him! I want to go to Sapporo, Japan too! What? You thought I was gonna say I envy him cause I want to go on a mission too? NOOOO!! Mission is way too hard for me! I have a fragile heart. I can't stand people belittling my beliefs, judging my actions all the time, and making fun of my religion. I would die of stress, and hypertension. I would die of heartache to see the members of the church being ridiculed for their love for our church. I leave the spreading of the good news (gospel) to the tough ones.

Mr.K, my bro-in-law, has always been a good example to me. When we were living together in a household, I am always amazed by how big his heart and his appetite are. He studies his scriptures everyday, goes to bed early, does all of his homework, and go to church early every Sunday. Who does that, right? Go to bed early? Go to church early? I don't even get to church on time! He also eats A LOT! I guess for a growing teen, that's normal. Oh, and he lifts weight like it's nobody's business. 45 pound dumbbells?? I can't even lift them with my two hands!

He's like a brother to me. We banter a lot, make fun of each other, teach each other, and admire each other. Okay, don't take it the wrong way. I admire his testimony in the gospel and the way he lives his life in accordance to the commandments of the Lord. And I would like to think that he admires me for my beauty. HAHAHA!!! Well, he told me that he would marry me if Mr.L leaves me one day (as a joke, of course!).

So it was nice that we got to pick him up from the Salt Lake airport, took him out for his "last supper" (as Mr.L called it) at Golden Corale, and drove him to the Provo temple for a couple of pictures before dropping him off at the curb at the MTC. So long for two years, Mr.K! Have a wonderful adventure in Japan!

Story #351: Like Crazy!

2011-08-20T06:17:00.010-10:00

Today I saw this trailer on somebody's blog. After watching it, I immediately decided that I HAVE TO, NEED TO, WANT TO watch it when it comes out in October.

It reminded me of when I was dating Mr.L. I loved him but I was so scared that our love wasn't gonna last. BECAUSE OF MY STUDENT VISA! I didn't really believe in long distance relationship and in the back of my mind the image of us breaking up over the phone or the internet (via skype) was constantly playing, over and over, when I found myself alone in the guest room at his house. So I can relate to those two lovebirds in the movie. In fact, I could relate to them so well that I cried watching the trailer. And I still feel like crying thinking about the trailer. I seriously am a faucet!

When I showed Mr.L the trailer, he was all, "another chick flick". SO unromantic!!!! No matter though, WE are still going to see it when it comes out.

Enjoy the trailer. It is stunning!

UPDATE: I changed the youtube video because I realized it wasn't the one that I wanted to share.

BTW, if you haven't voted on which photoshop effect you like yet, go here to help me decide :)

Story #350: Behind my lens

2011-08-18T09:21:00.008-10:00

So I have posted some bridal pictures of my sister-in-law here. I am really proud of the pictures! I have always been the biggest fan of soft, low contrast images. I like the feeling of dreaminess they invoke. I think those images are not only classy and elegant, they also exude femininity. Those are all the feelings I want my photography to be and my clients to have. After all, who doesn't love timeless portraits?

Like I mentioned in the previous post (here), there are some changes happening over there on my photography blog. If you have been following my blog, you'd notice that I have taken out the slideshow on top of my blog, changed the font, enlarged the size of the images, and also tweaked my editing methods a little.

Although these changes are subtle, I feel that my blog has become so much cleaner and simpler, and that actually makes my photos pop (duh!). There will be more changes coming soon. I am taking it slow because I have been so busy (remember the two weddings, the mission farewell, the move, and everything in between?). But I am going to be changing the look of my photography website and blog entirely (hopefully very soon. If not, by 2012).

Even though photography is my side job now, I am hoping to get my website and blog out there so I can eventually do more of more of it. So if you like my photography, tell your friends about it, tweet about it, pin it (pinterest), like it, share it everywhere! *wink wink* I will definitely consider travelling to different destinations (per my clients' request) when I am done with school. For now, just Utah/Salt Lake County + occasionally Washington County.

I have to also rethink my marketing strategy, my pricing (I've been doing way too much for what I am being paid for), and continue to practice shooting in certain lighting. I most definitely need to start being less shy around new acquaintances or my clients. I am always scared to death the day before a shoot and I often feel like running away so that I don't have to go to a shoot. Sometimes I get so nervous that I wish my ceiling would fall down and crush me so I don't have to go meet my clients (not that I have a lot). I know! I know! Too extreme!!! But that's just to show you how afraid I am even though I may look calm from the outside. If you are a potential client, don't be scared off by my scarediness (I love to make up new words), I still do a great job!

Everytime I go to a shoot, I first say 50 prayers that I don't mess up and that people would like me and tell their friends to hire me (I just want to get hired! Can you tell I am desperate?). Then I chant "you are great, you are awesome, your photos rock, you rock!" Sometimes I would sing to myself really loudly, in the car, songs that go up very high, til my voice crack. And I would laugh and feel better. By this point you're probably like, "this girl ain't normal!" I AM!!! I promise!

Okay, I have gone on way too many tangents and deviated from what I am supposed to be posting this time!

I need your help deciding something (yea, I can be quite indecisive sometimes. Like whether I should stay here in Toquerville for a couple more days or just drive up to Provo today. I have been debating with myself about this for about a week! Oh, you're like that too? High five!).

I would like you to vote on the pictures you like below. There are 3 sets of them (set a, b, and c). These three sets are edited differently, namely the temperature of the image, the saturation, the contrast, and some other stuff. I like all of them for different reasons and I do have my favorite, but I just want to see if you guys have the same favorite. Perhaps I will base my new editing methods off of the set that gets the most votes. OR maybe we can meet in the middle :)

A) Pink

B) Less pink, more green

C) A bit more muted and "white"

More examples? No problem!

A) Pink

B) Less pink, more green

C) Muted, more "white"

Obviously the same editing style used on different pictures will give different looks to the photos. Just go with your instinct and vote on the one that pleases your eyes the most.

MAHALO!!! Thank you so much!

Story #349: Period

2011-08-15T12:53:00.008-10:00

One of the lectures I always get from my mom over the phone or in person is "Do not drink cold water." I hear the lecture so many times that I can not only memorize it but I can also know when I will hear it exactly.

So you want a piece of this lecture? I know you don't want to be lectured but I know you are also curious as to WHY she nags me on such a small matter.

Before I go into the lecture (well, not verbatim, but maybe some main points that she made), let me just tell you this: I don't just hear this from my mom. I hear this from my close friends in Malaysia, friends from Taiwan, male friends, my dad, my cousins, my aunts, my students, and random strangers I meet in Asia.

So what is the big deal?

When I am experiencing cramps during my period, the first thing I do is whining about it to anybody who is around me. The responds I get here in the US is "take this (whatever it is) pill", which I never do because I don't like to pop pills into my mouth and my body. I don't even take birth control pills despite the fact that Mr.L and I do not intend to have any kids until I'm done with school. TMI~!

When I was in Malaysia in the past three months, ALL responds I get are "don't drink cold water" or "Do you drink cold water normally? Don't EVER drink cold water!" Cold drinks can, supposedly, cause cramps and mess up your menstrual cycle. And when that happens, "You cannot get pregnant easily!" (in the words of my mama). And "it can cause you to have irregular menstrual cycle." Last but not least, the classic, "you can get cancer if bad blood circulation cause you not to be able to dump all your 'dirty blood'".

WHAT???????????????? You're raising your eye-brows, aren't you? Or shaking your head. I know. What scientific proof can anyone give to sustain this belief? I am still searching for a Chinese medicine report on this that's translated into English. But I can't find any! I found some forums that talks about this in Chinese but I want a Western doctor or researcher to verify it cause I just want to be able to prove/dispute that drinking cold water on a daily basis is not good for women (and not just Chinese women). If there's no strong scientific evidence to prove that then I don't want to be following it (and I can hear myself retort "there are ghosts and there are no solid scientific evidence, apart from some sound waves which doesn't really mean anything, to back it up).

I went online an searched for this topic "why can't women drink cold water during their period". I know, asking a question to google as if it is a human. This is what I found that I thought was a not-so-bad explanation.

"During their menstrual period women should avoid cold foods and eat more warm foods. Traditional Chinese medicine believes that heat promotes blood circulation while the cold slows it down. Eating cold foods not only hinders digestion but also harms the body's yangqi (me: you know, that whole yin and yang thing? it plays a big part in Chinese medicine), causing the production of internal cold, which causes stagnation. It will slow down the circulation of blood, causing a lack of blood and even dysmenorrhea. Therefore even during hot summers, menstruating women should not have cold drinks or cold foods like pears, water chestnuts, wax gourds, etc."

This is found here.

Then I found this and I literally laughed out loud. This is totally what I was taught growing up! I remember thinking "WTF" when I had had it about not washing my hair!

"wash hair during period

by kiekyon » Wed Mar 15, 2006 3:55 am

i received this via email. can't help wondering if it is true?

It has been a traditional theory that ladies are not supposed to wash their hair during their period.

But there are no solutions to the question why?

The victim will only realise at their later stage of their life, facing the symptoms of breast and ovary cancer.

Today ladies still wash their hair during their period with the thinking that they will be safe if they blow dry their hair. But this will not prevent them from getting the cancer. Please read the article below:

A well known Taiwanese medical professor specialise in cancer research based on a Japanese university did a survey on 30,000 pre cancer patients. She found these patients are very choosy in their food, wash their hair during their period and carry heavy object and drink cold drinks. This will course the incomplete of ovulation and the remaining menses will turn into toxic and the imbalance of hormone will lead to ovary and breast cancer. During the research she found the method of prevention to these cancer diseases. The secrets are:

- One must change their lifestyle and eating habits.

- Do not wash our hair while having period, do not wash your hair just for the cooling effect and contraction of ovary.

- Excessive bleeding must be investigated by a gynae.

- No cold drinks.

- If you feel drowsy, breast expansion and constipation, these are the early symptoms of ovary or breast cancer. (me: I have never heard this before but I seriously have had it with people who make up stuff to scare people! Should I go get myself examined by the doctor?? What if I don't and I have cancer???)

To prevent use:

- Black sugar
- Chinese lotus (leng ngau)
- Carrot and Barley

Boil to soup and drink. This is one of the best prevention."

You can find this here. Read the responds. They are hilarious.

I know that Western medicine isn't the answer to everything and doesn't have the answer to many things. But I also do not want to be a superstitious person who believe in something that has no correct and clear explanation of. When it comes to my health, I want to be wise about it and not believe in some traditional notions that have no solid foundation in either Eastern or Western medicine. I do think that drinking cold water affects my menstrual cycle (speaking from experience here) but nobody can prove that drinking cold water is the source of cancers among women! I just want some explanations as to why I can't do this or I can't do that during a certain period of my life.

I will continue to search for the answer and find out for myself if all these things that I was taught and are taught to all Chinese women since who-knows-when are true. For me, this is not just a matter of faith.

update: According to this article, I am experiencing a type of irregular menstrual cycle called "cold in the blood".

What's "cold in the blood"?

"Cold in the Blood. A woman suffering from cycles that become longer and longer apart with scanty dark colored blood may be suffering from cold in the blood. Generally she will also experience abdominal pain which feels better with a heating pad. She would also probably suffer from cold feet and hands. This usually comes from internal invasion of cold, or overeating cold, raw foods or exposure to cold during a period."

Of the 7 ways to keep your menstrual cycle regular suggested by the article, three of them are related to cold water. No cold drinks, no cold food (ice cream, raw veges, raw fruits), and no immersing yourself in cold water (rain or go swimming).

It seems like apart from the yin and yang and the Qi explanation, there really isn't any Western explanation for it. I guess if you believe in Qi and that kind of stuff (like my mother-in-law and her mom and step-dad do), then you can probably accept this notion of not drinking cold water and no cold shower during your menstrual period. As for me, I'm staying away from all the cold stuff.

Story #348: Changes

2011-08-05T12:16:00.004-10:00

Hello sweets,

I'm back. I'm ready for real life after a long vacation.

I have 2 weddings to attend in the next five days. Both weddings are from the same family. My husband's family. Crazy, right? I'm shooting my sister-in-law, Chantelle's wedding. This means, go and check out my photography website in the next couple of weeks for pretty photos. On the side note, I am very nervous. First real wedding (paid) shoot by me, alone. It's pretty daunting. I hope I do well. I'll probably blog more about my shooting experience next time I blog. if you're interested in my behind-the-scene shooting stories, I'm happy to tell you all about it.

I'm still having jetlag. Why, oh why does it take me so long to get over it? I woke up at 5am this morning. I guess it's a good thing to arise early (I used to wake up at like 12pm when I was on my trips). I got a lot of things done before noon. Laundry, wedding presents shopping, some random shopping for myself, and having breakfast at a Vietnamese restaurant by myself. Mr.L was gone, tubing with his friends and their wives. I didn't go because I was feeling a bit sick. I got sick during the last week of our trip, when I was in Taiwan. Yup, still not fully recovered yet.

I meant this to be a short post (just telling you guys that I am back and I have not abandoned this blog. But I'm the queen of tangent, so that's not likely going to happen. I WILL be improving the blog, revamp it or something, and start doing weekly posts on some stuff. Sorry I'm being so vague. I actually haven't figured out entirely what I want to do with the blog yet. I know I want to blog more. I know I want to change the layout of my blog because I am sick of this one already. I know I want to show more of the things in my personal life. But I don't have a clear cut direction for the blog yet. Any ideas are welcomed! Oh, btw, there will be some changes to my photography website as well. I am pretty excited about the change and my goal is to shoot more wedding pictures.

I'll be posting the pictures of my Taiwan trip on Facebook soon (hopefully after the weddings). So, check that out too.

I'm going to go take a nap, or maybe just roll around on my mother-in-law's bed (I know it sounds weird but we're staying at her house before school starts and her room is the only place in the house cool enough in the afternoon to get me to fall asleep. and she kept telling me to sleep there). Check back soon, I have tons to share (about our three-month trip, the weddings, our new apartment, my new semester, my first time teaching a class all by myself, and a lot of other exciting (or not) things in my life.

With that, I'll leave you with my favorite picture of the trip.

watching sunset at Jimbaran beach, Bali, Indonesia

Story #347: Big Apple donuts

2011-06-03T22:12:00.001-10:00

One of my favorite things to eat in Provo was Krispy Kreme's donuts. I like the softness of the donuts that they have. But I always felt like they could have done more to the donuts.

I first came across Big Apple donuts in Kota Kinabalu, Malaysia in 2008 after I came home from Hawaii. I was impressed by the beautiful art design on the donuts. I wanted to eat every single one they had. After I left, I searched everywhere in Utah, hoping to find something similar. Krispy Kreme was the closest thing to it. I was disappointed. Don't get me wrong, I love Krispy Kreme. But I wanted more. I wanted nice, cute art work on the donuts, not just some colorful sprinkles. So I was really excited to ear Big Apple donuts again. I am so glad they have it in Miri. Sadly, the donuts themselves were not as fluffy as Krispy Kreme's. If only they could mix Big Apple donuts art work into Krispy Kreme's donuts. That would be perfect!!

By the way, Big Apple originated in Malaysia. At first I thought it came all the way from NYC but after talking to my friends in the US about it and seeing the "what are you shmoking" look on their faces, I looked online and found out I was wrong. The brand is misleading!!

I have yet to try out the donutshi but they look like they are really tasty and they are so cute! I'll try them out the next time I go to Big Apple donuts again.

Story #346: Mr.L Birthday

2011-04-21T12:27:00.005-10:00

I am done with my one and only final so I am done with the semester. Actually, I'm done with the 1st year of grad school. So now I am just chilling at home, TRYING to clean up and pack for our trip and move out of our apartment, doing exercises (I go to the gym on campus with my friend everyday over the past 2 days. and we did pilates at my place today!), trying to finish the food in our fridge and freezer, researching for random things, photoshop-ing Mr.L's siblings' engagement pictures, and rolling around on my bed.

Life is pretty great when you don't have to work or go to school. Well, at least for a while it feels great. I am sure it gets pretty mundane after a week.

I noticed that I haven't blogged a lot ever since this semester started. I know I blog about random things once in a while, but I feel like I haven't really blog about the fun things that happened because I talked about them on Facebook. So, I am going to blog about what happened a couple of weeks ago: Mr.L's birthday.

Mr.L's turned 25!

I threw him a party because I didn't do anything special with him the past 3 birthdays he had. The birthday he had after he came back to Hawaii from his mission was celebrated with his roommates and me at Cheesecake Factory (one of his house mates had his birthday that same day and had some giftcards for that restaurant. I don't think I even got him anything. The two birthdays after that were celebrated with his mom and family. I didn't really do anything special for him.

So I decided he deserves to have a good time on his birthday and that going to a restaurant to eat just wasn't going to cut it. I had this elaborate plan for about 2 weeks and my perfect plan was interrupted when one of his class ended a week earlier than I had anticipated. So I had to do everything on the day of his birthday while he went to school for a few hours. I shopped for his cake, some donuts, presents, and food while he was at school and came home to hide them so that he wouldn't find them. Some of the things like his birthday cake and the mini cupcakes were not easy to hide at all! I placed them at the bottom shelf and put fruits and stuff around them to hide them from sight. I was so worried that he would go look for food in there and find them. Luckily, he wasn't really a scavenger.

The hardest part was to sneak a box of pizza past him. I didn't want to get the pizza early because I didn't want to serve cold pizza. So I went out and bought it after my group meeting at around 4pm that day. L was home playing Halo. When I got home I opened the door to see what he was doing and decided I could maybe sneak the pizza past him. So I said hi to him and pretended that I had left something out in the car. Then I went out, got the pizza, pop my head back in the house to see if he was noticing me, and brought the pizza in (right under his nose) and hid it in the oven. He wasn't even a teensy bit suspicious.

Oh, I also hid his presents in the mailbox. I wanted him to think that I wasn't getting him anything. That was one of my plan to draw him out of the house so his siblings could come in. I had asked them to hide upstairs and park their cars far away from our apartment. They were really smart too. Instead of hiding right upstairs of our apartment, they hid in the one next to our block. I was so thankful that they thought of doing that because our upstairs neighbor's kid was playing outside on the staircase and he talked to L and L turned around and talked to him too. He would have totally seen his siblings if they had hidden up there.

Having him leave the apartment was the hardest. I got all dressed up, making him think that we were going out to a restaurant to celebrate. Then I pretended I received a phone call from his mom telling me to ask him to go out to the mail to check for his present. This was when he started to suspect. He was like "Don't tell me my mom came all the way up here for my birthday" and he started looking out the window to try to see her car. I was all, "No! She told me to tell you. Just go look!" He didn't buy it. So I was like, "Actually, I got some presents for you and I put them in the mailbox." He finally decided to go check it out even though he smelled something fishy.

So while he was gone his siblings sneaked in and i brought out all the food and bubbles. When he came, we all yelled "surprise!" and ya da ya da. It was awesome because he was surprised, even though not as surprised as I had thought. Still, it was great. Great food, awesome cheesecake, he got lots of presents, and we played Rock Band.

Story #345: Going home doesn't sound like such a good idea anymore

2011-04-17T14:05:00.003-10:00

I am stressed. Not from finals or my research papers, but from the thought of going home. Why?

Well, there are a few sources:

1. packing. It is stressful. I tried packing today and my goal to bring only a hand-carry bag is not going to happen. I seriously tried to bring only 15 pieces of clothing, including 2 pairs of jeans. So I think I will go over my clothes again and reduce as many as I can so I can bring only a carry-on.

Question: Can I bring one carry-on bag, my purse, and a camera bag? Cause I thought we can only bring a carry-on and a personal bag and that's it.

Question 2: We booked an international flight and will be having a layover in LA for 5 hours on our way to Malaysia. So, would we have to pay for checked bags since it's an international flight? Would we have to pay for checked bags from Las Vegas to LA? It's a connecting flight and it is included in the whole flight package.

2. The thought of meeting with my high school friends is daunting! First of all, I have gained some weight. Not as skinny as a toothpick anymore. Second, they are all so tiny. Like Lia tiny. Very cute and skinny. So I would look like a giant next to them (which is why I hate being next to Lia in a picture, I always look HUGE!!). Sorry, Lia, I love you. I just hate me.

3. My friends are Chinese. That means they can be quite blunt. I am sure they WILL point out all my un-perfections. Wait, some of them already have! I am not saying that I need to live up to their expectations, but yea, there are things that just can't be shrugged off so easily.

So, I am dedicating the two weeks before I hop on the plane to detoxing, exercising, and healthy-dieting. Sounds so hard. I am not even sure if I can do any of it. Wish me luck!

Story #344: Teaching never felt so good

2011-03-27T18:33:00.006-10:00

I love my students. Now that I am no longer their teacher, I feel that I can say that without putting a jinx on it. You know, sometimes when you say you love something, and after a while you find out how rotten that thing/person is because you've jinxed it.

Ok, so my practicum is over. 10 weeks flew by pretty fast. I remember dreading teaching a bunch of students who are my age or older than I am. I was so worried that they would mock my English and ask me some questions about grammar that I have no clue how to answer. I was half-right. They did ask me grammar-related questions that I didn't know how to answer (I turned to my mentoring teacher, instead. Very sleek, am I not?), but they did not mock me or distrust me because I am not a native speaker of English. *speaking of native speaker, on the day I presented my senior paper at BYUH, one of my professors came and told me that I spoke like a native. My other professor overheard it and he was like "What? You said she sounded like a native American?" That professor was Dr.Han. No, Dr. Han, he meant I spoke like a native speaker of English, not American Indian.

So my students gave me great feedback about my teaching. All of them said that they loved my teaching style and they thought I was really smart and funny and creative. There were a few of them that said I was perfect. I was more than flattered. I wanted to scream on the top on my lungs on the tallest building of the world that I love being a teacher. I don't want to jinx it because this was the first class I taught and they loved me because they were all really kind and sweet Mormons.

Anywho, we had a farewell party and although it was a short party, it was awesome. These are my sweet students. I look like a pregnant lady in this picture and my face is so fat that my eyes appeared to be slits! I hate me.

Story #343: Fall-out Shelter

2011-03-18T06:48:00.003-10:00

This morning I got on Facebook and saw Michelle Branch's status talking about the nuclear radiation cloud that has reached Southern California. I started to panic. What if we inhaled the nuclear gas and started growing cancer? What if our babies were born missing an eye or an arm? Or worse, born with 8 arms?!

Then I thought about our food storage. Sadly, we don't really have any food storage. We do have a few bags of potato pearls that can be made into mashed potatoes in less than a minute. But that won't be enough! If we have to stay in the house for more than a month, we'll need to buy bottled water, lots of canned food, lots of grains, lots of frozen food, and lots of medicine. AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!! Utah is too close to California! Maybe I'll just hurry and finish school and move to Florida.

I told Mr.L the news (my source is Michelle Branch) and he said we should build a bomb shelter and live in it for 30 years, like Blast From the Past. Have any of you seen that movie? It's one of my favorite! I watched it so many times and I still laugh about it. But hey, it is not so funny now! If we do have to live in a bomb shelter, I will make sure that I bring lots and lots of movies and download like 100 TV shows and series. I am not watching one movie, upside down for 30 years!

Let's hope everything will be fine in the end and some of us won't end up having alien-like babies.

Story #342: The light bulb was on!

2011-03-17T14:34:00.004-10:00

It's that time of the month again. I am constantly craving for food. All kinds of food. I was craving dim sum so I made myself some shao mai and turnip cake. But I was also craving something fruity, like frozen yogurt and parfait. So I tried to make some frozen yogurt last night.

I used strawberry yogurt and cut some strawberries and kiwi fruits. Then I just mixed them together and put it in the freezer. I thought it was going to turn out awesome! Wrong. When I took it out of the fridge it was frozen solid (what was I expecting, anyway?) so I put it in the fridge overnight. This morning, I took a bit from it and it was so sour! Too much fruit I assume. So I fed it to Mr.L. hahaha...

He hated it. He hated sour food. But I don't really want it to go to waste so all afternoon I was thinking of how to make it edible. Suddenly, I had a great idea! I mixed a couple of handfuls of Honey Bunches of Oats in and added some honey to it. I turned the fro yo' into a parfait!

I am a genius! And now I am happily eating my healthy breakfast/dessert/snack while I am writing this.

Good day!

Story #341: Even before the beginning of my summer trip

2011-03-10T19:20:00.003-10:00

I am getting more and more excited about my trip back to Malaysia as the days go by. I've been telling everyone about it: my students, my classmates, my family, my friends at church, my friends in Malaysia, and whoever who cares to listen.

The sad thing is we'll be spending lots of $$ when we go back.

Let me go off on a tangent for a bit:

K, I admit that I am very stingy when it comes to spending $. Wait, I am not (I have no problem with shopping). But I feel this guilt that won't go away for days after I spend the $ (it doesn't matter what the $ is spent on:grocery, clothes, books, eating-out, trips). I want the guilt to go away so bad that sometimes I just returned the things I bought(usually my clothes) or I kept telling Mr.L that we need to stop eating out so much (which is about 2 times a week or more sometimes depending on what's left in the fridge or if I get off work 10 minutes later than normal).

K, back to the main story:

So I am very excited about going home because I will be back for 3 months! We will be visiting many places in Malaysia (sadly, I can count with one hand how many places I have been to in Malaysia). My country has so much to offer and I never cared about local tourism until I left. This time we plan to visit Penang (where there are lots of good Malaysian Chinese food), Kuala Lumpur (the capital: basically like all the other capital cities in the world--fun, but not my type), Malacca (the first city that we study in our Malaysian history--this was where the country started), and of course my hometown in the Borneo.

We will also go visit Singapore, Hanoi, Vietnam., Taiwan, and Hong Kong. At first we thought about going to Bali (you know how Eat, Love, Pray can do to you) but I am paranoid about terrorist attacks that happen a few times there in the past 5 years. It is also over saturated by loud Australian (and maybe quite a lot of Americans too)tourists. When I told my cousin about my fear of running into some crazy terrorists there, she told me to show my Malaysian passport and tell them to take my American husband instead. I know that was really awful, but she was just joking. Sorry if I offend anyone.

Anyways, I am super excited to go home and the more I think about it the more I feel like quitting school! There are several things I'll have to do before going home though. For example, I need to do some exercise to make my thighs and tummy smaller so I won't look like a giant next to my super tiny friends. Oh, I'll also have to make sure I only bring 15 pieces of clothing and 2 pairs of shoes for the trip. Hmm...that's a bit hard. I brought half of my closet on the trip to California, and that was only for less than 2 weeks. Hopefully I won't be tempted to bring every piece of clothing I own when I start packing. I always worried that I might need something that I didn't pack.

All right, I need to go back to my boring assignment. Let's look forward to a great summer!

Story #340: I'm a zombie.

2011-03-03T20:43:00.004-10:00

Another weekend without any plans. This is so unlike me! Last year we went to different events and places every weekend. I used to detest wasting my weekends cooped up at home doing nothing, I wanted to go out and see things. Now, I just feel like staying home watching Naruto and read books. What is wrong with me?!

Recently, I've lost my motivation to do well in my classes. There's a voice in my head that says, "Now that you're in the MA program, you don't have to work so hard anymore. Just produce mediocre works, procrastinate til the very last minute, and skip classes once in a while so you can take naps." And now, instead of doing my homework that's due first thing in the morning, I am here, blogging about nothing important. What is wrong with me?!

I feel like a zombie. I don't feel like going to my classes and work, cooking, shopping, going out with my friends. I just want to stay home, sleep, eat chips, lay on the couch and watch Naruto. I am turning into a pig @_@!!!!

Is there a way to snap out of this? I am beginning to think that I am turning into a recluse/meaningless old fart.